T-H-I-N-K before you speak

Several months ago, we had the privilege of visiting some friends and participating in a family Bible study. The topic made such an impression on me that I find myself reflecting on it often. I wanted to share it as it is a good reminder to all ages about how we should communicate with each other...especially those in our family and immediate circles.

Unfortunately, I have found that as we grow more comfortable around someone, we tend to show them less respect and use less care in our dialogue. This could be true between spouses, between parents and their children (in both directions), between siblings, even between friends and coworkers.

Perhaps it is because with those whom we are close to we feel we should be able to be more "honest". Is it factual truth that we are aiming to communicate or what we really think/feel? If the latter, honesty is not always the best policy.

I have been to several wedding showers where they provide an opportunity to give the bride-to-be marriage advice. I have found a common piece of advice that I like to share: "Don't say everything you are thinking." Thoughts and emotions come and go and it is best to be measured in our discourse to maintain love and respect in the relationship. Once words are spoken they cannot be unspoken. Even when forgiveness is granted, the sting of those words in the mind of the recipient may be difficult to forget.

Using an acronym of the work THINK should help us all 'think before we speak':

Is it True?
Is it Helpful?
Is it Inspiring/Encouraging?
Is it Necessary?
Is it Kind?

This is a great lesson for children to learn and apply to their interaction which each other so when they are adults it will already be a natural filter to their words. Like so many other life lessons, they are much easier learned as a child than as an adult. Children's hearts are fertile soil and manners malleable clay. Perhaps that is why Christ said: "And said, Verily I say unto you, except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."

This may not be the exact passage referenced during the original Bible study, but, nonetheless, I think it is fitting:

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
Ephesians 4:29-32