T-H-I-N-K before you speak

Several months ago, we had the privilege of visiting some friends and participating in a family Bible study. The topic made such an impression on me that I find myself reflecting on it often. I wanted to share it as it is a good reminder to all ages about how we should communicate with each other...especially those in our family and immediate circles.

Unfortunately, I have found that as we grow more comfortable around someone, we tend to show them less respect and use less care in our dialogue. This could be true between spouses, between parents and their children (in both directions), between siblings, even between friends and coworkers.

Perhaps it is because with those whom we are close to we feel we should be able to be more "honest". Is it factual truth that we are aiming to communicate or what we really think/feel? If the latter, honesty is not always the best policy.

I have been to several wedding showers where they provide an opportunity to give the bride-to-be marriage advice. I have found a common piece of advice that I like to share: "Don't say everything you are thinking." Thoughts and emotions come and go and it is best to be measured in our discourse to maintain love and respect in the relationship. Once words are spoken they cannot be unspoken. Even when forgiveness is granted, the sting of those words in the mind of the recipient may be difficult to forget.

Using an acronym of the work THINK should help us all 'think before we speak':

Is it True?
Is it Helpful?
Is it Inspiring/Encouraging?
Is it Necessary?
Is it Kind?

This is a great lesson for children to learn and apply to their interaction which each other so when they are adults it will already be a natural filter to their words. Like so many other life lessons, they are much easier learned as a child than as an adult. Children's hearts are fertile soil and manners malleable clay. Perhaps that is why Christ said: "And said, Verily I say unto you, except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."

This may not be the exact passage referenced during the original Bible study, but, nonetheless, I think it is fitting:

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
Ephesians 4:29-32

Farmer Boot Camp

Remember all those wonderful virtues of country life enumerated in the last post? Well, my idealistic vision of country life was put to the test in the second week of our life in Missouri which I affectionately refer to as 'Farmer Boot Camp'.

Some friends live nearby on a beautiful farm with cows, horses, chickens, sheep, cats, dogs, and even fish! They had not been on a vacation in a very long time and decided to get away from their farm life for 10 whole days...but the chores don't stop even for vacation. That's the reality of farm life! I don't think they have kennels for dairy cows or daycare for sheep, so they found several willing friends to help with the chores while they were gone.

When my sister-in-law asked if we would be willing to help, we jumped at the chance. The first three days were training and then we were paired with another couple on our assigned days to do the milking and morning chores.

It was surreal: two weeks prior we were in our apartment in Texas in a sea of cardboard and now we were in a dairy parlor in Missouri learning the fine arts of milking a cow.

During the training days the milking cows were already in the corral next to the parlor; however, on the first day on our own, we arrived and realized WE had to bring the cows up to the parlor. Well, there is no time like the present to learn how to sort and herd cows. Unfortunately, most of our exposure to cattle work came from television, so all we could do was whoop and holler and wave our hands hoping the cows responded the same way they did on TV. We managed to make it work, but I just have to say...cows are dumb. Of course, in all fairness, the cows probably had the same opinion of their surrogate farmers.

We had several opportunities to 'problem solve' on the fly; most of the time it was a cow moving in the wrong direction or in the wrong place or not moving to the right place. I learned cows don't have a reverse gear. The first time we sorted the milking cows from the rest of the herd, the bull just turned away like he knew not to come. "That was easy! Ok...I can do this." The next day, the bull had other plans. Despite my whoopin' and hollerin' and arm wavin' the bull kept coming towards me. I decided not to play chicken with the bull and I moved first. We got it a figured out somehow and got the chores done, but I'm not sure we ever had two days alike. I suppose that, too, is another aspect of farm life. While the list of chores may be the same day to day, the addition of animals' unpredictable behaviors keep things interesting. 

By out last day, we had worked out a good routine to get all the chores done. It was a little sad to leave the busy farm life, but the part I miss most is hanging out with one of the coolest cow dogs I've ever met (granted that is a rather short list), but he was a good dog. I can't wait to see Rocky again!

I really enjoyed the experience and the opportunity to play farmer for a couple weeks. I even think I could manage a single dairy cow eventually at our future home...although I'm still working on convincing Randy of that. :)

By the way, I also learned why they call it HOT wire...twice. :P 

"Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase." Proverbs 13:11

Adios, Tejas!

After much prayer and discussion, our family relocated to Missouri!

Many factors weighed in on this decision, but our strong desire to raise our children in a rural setting was a major consideration. With the limitless education in being good stewards of God's creation, having a stong work ethic, and all the things country life can teach, we prayed for years for an opportunity to do so.

Thankfully, we have not relocated only to become an island in the middle of the Midwest, but have come to an area with family and a community of dear friends.

It is strange to me to think just three weeks ago today, the children and I loaded up the minivan to make the big drive up Missouri way. It was a bittersweet day, as we left one home and headed toward our new home, a new adventure, a new way of life.

Let me start at the beginning of this adventure...the setting: a U-Haul truck somewhere in eastern Oklahoma; the main characters: two brothers who spent 11 of the last 24 hours loading this truck; the temperature: 110 degrees in the shade. What would a relocation story be without the moving truck breaking down?!? The truck lost power somewhere between Here and There, OK. However, they made it to the shoulder safely. The Lord was gracious and sent a brief rain to cool things down while they waited for several hours for roadside assitance to come. Right about dusk, Help came in a rusty Chevy pick-up. He jiggled a few wires, checked a few things and it started right up. Help followed them to the nearest large town where they found lodging for the night.

Last tank of gas: $76
Moving truck rental: $500
Brother bonding moment on the side of the road in OK: Priceless

Despite the time delay, they arrived safely in Missouri the next day where they were met by a troop of gracious friends ready to help unload all our belongings. The children and I had an easy drive up the following day.

While we miss our family and friends in Texas, we have a peace that we are where the Lord would have us be at this time and look forward to moving toward our goal of our own home in the country.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jeremiah 29:11